Seven things/questions on my mind more than usual.
One: How do I make money from the Internet? Seriously, there must be some way to it that hasn’t been completely exhausted yet.
Two: Where can I find inspiration for the ending of my hashed out plan for a novel? I have almost everything fixed in some idea or another, but no end in sight >_< what would you guys suggest? How do you find inspiration?
Three: Why are so many of my beautiful friends still single? Universe, play nice.
Four: Is China going to ‘F’ me around some more? China, you are not my friend right now.
Five: She is cute, how do I talk to her?
Six: th.ink.ing. One that looks like a painting would be rad. Who knows a good inker?
Seven: Jillian Michaels ripped in 30 is probably going to rip me in half. Ouuuuch.
Short, sweet, and to the point. This is generally how my thoughts work, it happens briefly, then I draw a blank.
Small note, part writing practice/part emptying the mind tank, concerning a mindset I’ve noticed flaring up and dying down amongst fellow foreigners I know. Including myself.
That unavoidable void devoid from, well, people.
Or person. Usually one.
Some label them as ‘The One’.
Now I don’t subscribe to the theory that there is only one person destined to be your husband/wife/partner/co-habitant/blanket thief. I think it’s silly. There are far too many interesting people out there that I often have a hard time being attracted to just one person. This really comes out when my selection pool of whom I find attractive is dehydrated down into a puddle when moving to a city such as Shijiazhuang.
Frankly it’s easier not even thinking about it, and busying myself with other things. It works most of the time. Travel has become easier with the Internet; I can talk to almost everyone back home at every time of the day/night and keep relatively up-to-date.
I think back enviously terrified to my aunty, who traversed the world many times over, back to when her postcards were like gold and A2 sized maps were almost torn in half by the leftover pinholes of past towns she visited. I wonder how she felt, going to these amazing places with no safety communication blanket.
And I wonder if the Internet has in some way ruined my own experience.
Can I never feel fully complacent being by myself when I know there is so much technology out there being used to connect us all? Can I never want to be alone because being alone is now a twisted privilege accessible by those we call dysfunctional and peculiar? I know I don’t want to be alone forever, but I don’t want to feel guilty or confused because I don’t feel like I have the choice to be alone.
Don’t get me wrong; I’d love for a ‘someone else’ to enter my life.
But I’m also content with the fact that the time for that is probably not now.
I need more pin holes in my own map.