For better or worse.

Commitment is something I try to take seriously.

To commit is to dedicate some part (possibly the whole part) of myself, towards something I hope will be greater than myself, whether that be through sport, through relationships, or through words.


It means to find something that creates this burning, this passion, this ache, and to grow that something beyond what you imagined it to be.


It is to see yourself beyond what you thought possible.


I am proud to be committed to this blog, and feel more comfortable than ever to continue writing. Continue beyond what I thought was the limit.


So with that I welcome its new name change.


Say hello to Synthetic Journal.


Watch this space, change is coming.

Forgive me blog for I have sinned.

I have a 3 Stones Pinot Noir 2012 bottle sitting next to me, with its cap meeting its fate in the rubbish bin. It has ‘shows of red cherry, plum and spice’.

This is what victory tastes like.

I am now completing the final challenge set by myself when I fell into a slump.  Day 10, whassap! Today I reveal a confession. 

Cue the collective ‘ooooooooooooooh’.

However, if you were hoping for a fantastically juicy, sexcapadesque story Hugh Hefner would shake hands over hearing, I’m practically a Nun right now and regretfully have no recent story of the sorts to share with you. (And the not-so-recent-but-still-juicy stories you’d have to ask in person, you cheeky devil).

My confession: I’m glad this is over.

Hindsight is a bastard of a teacher.  I know I can thank my past self for succumbing to the idea of a ‘blog challenge’, because I’ve been writing every day, but weren’t these topics rather crap? I’m a little disappointed in myself for needing to use this method. On the plus side, I found two daily prompt blogs with truly inspirational questions posted that I can answer! So you won’t be reading the last of me just yet.  For now I am happy because for once I completed something, which is a very rare occurrence!

Thanks for the ride guys, talk (well…write) again soon. Probably tomorrow. This is very addictive.


Glass post of emotion.

This is my first post written via mobile edit: also drinking).  We just went full hipster up in here.  Never go full hipster. If there are typo’s I do apologise now, this keyboard is horrific.

I need to choose two emotions that describe my life at present.  Two. Damn challenge, why you so hard now?  Especially seeing as I’m on holiday this isn’t really a good representation of ‘real life’, is it?

Thesaurus brain, activated!


I’m definitely getting snuggly with my bed, occasionally cheating on it with various couches. This whole not having a regular job is about to cause irreparable damage known as ‘ a normal sleep pattern ‘.

Two : Intoxicated.

This word means a lot more than the alcoholic badge it has earned. I am overwhelmed with positive emotions lately that it feels like a blissful drugged fantasy, everything is perfect and nothing is poisoned. ( I’m hoping the comedown isn’t horrific ).

What two words did you pick?


It’s a little daunting realising just how many people there are on this beat up ball of dirt.


Over seven BILLION.




That’s a freaking big number.


It’s a wonder how people fall in love with only one person. Not to sound critical, but more amazed at the accomplishment. I’m a sucker for the feeling of love (though it is often confused with lust, and then we start to have a problem), and having only one person on my mind is very difficult. Too many people are just too freaking perfect and I want to passionately love them all.


But I don’t think you can love everyone. Sometimes I feel guilty when I realise what traits I will never, ever, find attractive, for absolutely no good reason other than it’s just not working for me. I hope it’s not some ‘supreme white person’ character of thought, because I don’t feel better than anyone else, but it’s not really a discussion topic that’s talked about often. So I will just hope that everyone else has certain traits they find unattractive for no good reason, and will make me feel less guilty about being picky.


Three things I adore about the people I want to be passionate with are –


One: Humour. This is super cliché and feels dreadfully redundant to say, but it’s super important to me. I’d rather choose never feel love than never feel happy ever again. If you have a broad, intense sense of humour, I’m already yours.


Two: Intelligence. Not the conventional ‘tertiary’ education. We all have that. I mean can you whisper to me everything I don’t know yet? Will you explore the vast newness of what’s out there with me? Can you leave your inhibitions behind and really push yourself up to stand with me and look out at the future? If yes, leave your application with me.


Three. Shoulders. There has to be one physical aspect to drool over. Plus, I like giving massages, so this could work out well for both parties.


Are you super picky about one particular trait? Do/did you ever have a check-list? What percentage of looks v mind do you think you have. I’d say I’m a 30/70 look/brain split myself, which I think is quite comfortable.


Leaving this song here because, well, I like it.




Standard edition.

I don’t think my standards are too high. There are very few things I am picky about. Usually I’m satisfied if you’re alive and have a good grasp of the English language. But the few things that do concern me, I will critically examine and see if they are a trait you have, in which case, laters homie.

Four turn offs, in no special order, based upon real life lessons.

One: You are negative about your family for no good reason. This is something I had to learn about the hard way (which ended in an ugly brawl between the now ex, her parents, and me). Looking back there were a lot of unnecessary negative comments made by her, which stupidly influenced my adolescent, hormonally confused girl opinions. I know you should fall in love with the person, and not their relatives, but if you’re going to trash talk your parents on no reasonable grounds but simply ‘for the lols’, then please leave.

Two: You hate books. This goes against everything I believe in, and makes me think you are uninterested in learning about ANYTHING.

Three: You cling in the ‘ohmygod I haven’t heard from her in three hours she’s totally cheating on me’ kinda way. Honey, calm the F down. I’m just waking up from passing out on a mates couch because drunk driving is a big no-no (which I’m starting to think you are also a big no-no if this is how you react every weekend).

Four: You have no sense of humour. Like, you don’t even laugh at me. If I can’t make you laugh then I’d highly recommend you get your funometer checked because I am hiiiiiiilarious.


EDIT: I completely forgot my absolute number one pet hate. Not being on time. If you are someone who is always late to every event, then we are never to be together. I know this breaks the rules, but this edit is totally worth the honest points.

Do you think my standards are unreasonable? Are you a very fussy person, or do you love everyone on the planet ever? I’d like to know how you judge people (let’s be honest now, we allllllllll do it).


Persons of interest.

‘Five people who mean a lot’ is today’s challenge. I don’t subscribe to the idea of hierarchically positioning friends anymore. Sure when you’re little there’s a ‘best friend’ you sip juice with and construct amazing fairylands to explore together, but today I really despise that title. Or any friend status title. If you’re a person I enjoy the company of I will definitely let you know I appreciate you, but don’t ask me for what your rank is. I have none worthy of your name and what you mean to me anyway.


But the circus that is my blog must go on. So here is my version of five people who mean a lot to me.


One: ‘The smarter than the average bear’ person. This person constantly has quirky quips suitable for every social occasion, and frequently inserts them into conversations to change up the topics. People who are smarter than me (this is a very large group of people I know) are people I respect greatly.


Two: ‘The not so talkative but keep in touch’ person. This person I might not speak to for weeks. Months maybe. I know technology means this shouldn’t really happen, but I’m lazy and pretty forgetful at emails. Now that I write posts (well, try too) keeping up on an individual timeframe is an even worse idea for me to adhere too. But for this somewhat distant person it’s ok to not have a timeframe. We can genuinely act like nothing has changed between us, and when we do catch up in real life it’s as though we hadn’t seen each other for only a second.


Three: ‘The poet’ person. This person knows all the right words to say. All the beautiful, terrifying, mystical, wondrous and powerful words known in English are at their disposal. This person is just beautiful to communicate with, and addictively passionate about it too.


Four: ‘The happy’ person. A very rare type of person to know, being genuinely happy and content with the moment is not something the majority of us are good at being. Sure we can be happy in moments, but to be consistently positive is something very special.


Five: ‘The truthful’ person. This person will let you know exactly what you need to hear. Too many times what you want to hear probably isn’t what you need, and this person knows the difference. It’s a very difficult role because it is often confused with titles such as ‘bitch’ or ‘dickhead’, but more than likely these are our own insecure projections being placed onto this aggressive, yet kind, individual. Learn to recognize who are the truthful ones, they’ll help you a lot more than you think.


What personalities did you think I missed out? Should a lover be considered in this list? Do you think you are one of these types? Let me know!






Breaking the rules.

I kept challenge number six clean of these words because, well, no good reasons really, except I want it to stand alone in my challenge category. And I didn’t enjoy writing it at all.


But, Lisa is right, I can say more.


My Dad tells me ‘ask forgiveness, never permission’. He’s always meaning it as a joke. I however pushed the phrase to its limits, and got into some real bad trouble as a freshly minted young adult.


Lessons are hard. Very hard. But without them I would miss out on knowing valuable things about myself, and the world I’ve come to understand a little bit.


I know now that it’s ok to like people as people, I’m not obliged to categorise them into sub sections for you to examine. I know now that having the technology that is cars available in my lifetime is an amazing human accomplishment, which should be respected and treated with as much caution as possible when using it around others for means of transport or otherwise. I know now that drugs never really gave me the answers I wanted, and there are other ways to extend myself mentally. I know now that education is amazing and you can always learn anything you want, anytime you want, if you want it enough. I know now that sometimes you want love, sometimes you want sex, just make sure both parties are clear about it at all times.


In a weird, twisted way, I’m glad for all my ‘F’ ups (even though you guys know some of the worst things about me now). They’re something that makes me different. If you reflect on your mistakes, would you agree with me that lessons are a big part of what makes us who we are? What have you learnt about yourself?






Six things you wish you had never done. This, I don’t really want to write about. But rules are rules >___<

One: Queenstown incident. There will be no more discussion from me about this, especially on the Internet, other than it was probably the worst mistake of my life.

Two: Broke up with my now ex at my family’s beach house, and effectively left her stranded for two hours waiting for a ride home, on the New Years weekend. What a dick I was doing it that way. (No regrets about ending it though, to clarify).

Three: Blow my last year of high school and get some pretty lame results. No excuses for that one.

Four: Dented a parked car (and didn’t leave a note). Was caught out however.

Five: Alcohol poisoning more than once. It should be a one-time lesson learnt deal.

Six: Been afraid of myself.






Why did the thought cross the road?

Seven things/questions on my mind more than usual.


One: How do I make money from the Internet? Seriously, there must be some way to it that hasn’t been completely exhausted yet.


Two: Where can I find inspiration for the ending of my hashed out plan for a novel? I have almost everything fixed in some idea or another, but no end in sight >_< what would you guys suggest? How do you find inspiration?


Three: Why are so many of my beautiful friends still single? Universe, play nice.


Four: Is China going to ‘F’ me around some more? China, you are not my friend right now.


Five: She is cute, how do I talk to her?


Six: One that looks like a painting would be rad. Who knows a good inker?


Seven: Jillian Michaels ripped in 30 is probably going to rip me in half. Ouuuuch.



Short, sweet, and to the point. This is generally how my thoughts work, it happens briefly, then I draw a blank.




Eight ways to win hearts (a step by step guide).

One: Player One must enter the game.


Two: Player Two must also enter the game.


Three: Game landscape changes to bars/cafes, players acquire weapons such as coffee, books, tales of past escapades. Proceed with caution. Difficulty – advanced.


Four: Players One and Two level up by talking/dinnering/adventuring. Level up time extends depending on defense used by respective player(s). If barrier gets broken proceed to step five. If not, end game now.


Five: Player One or Two invites the other over to their base (bonus round: bedroom).


Six: Players exchange special items (house keys, rings, hearts).


Seven: Players combine physical/mental efforts and move forward to the next installment – Part 2: Life together.


Eight: Game over.