Review – Cassette Nine.

Generosity within hospitality means something more than standard definitions. It’s not simply brought about in the form of charity case handouts because you “forgot” your wallet/money/dignity. Nor is it used in false pretense to acquire an allegiance from patrons to encourage their return. When hospitality hands you a silver spoon (like free food/alcohol), you take it and you appreciate it.


My friend Heather and I had been walking around the perimeters of central Auckland looking to get some food into us after a long mental work out at the St Paul St symposium. Down Vulcan Lane we saw a wonderfully designed vintage-type-movie-poster-esque menu, the keywords ‘burger’ and ‘teapot’ on it took our fancies, and up the stairs we climbed.


Here is where we discovered Cassette Nine.


We were greeted at the top by a gentleman behind the bar, who flashed his dashing smile and directed us to a table that faced the dance floor and stage (this was to become a terrific location later on). He left us with some menus and said he’ll be right back. About three minutes later he was back, but alas, Heather and I were still debating the merits of chicken and onion rings. He said it was no trouble and he’d return again soon.


Unfortunately this ‘soon’ extended into over a quarter of an hour. Now to myself, this isn’t a long time. I’ve been to high-end restaurants where the wait between each course was in the 45-minute range, so I’m not using the word unfortunately from my position, rather from his. He returned behind the bar after being absent from sight, to which I caught his attention and he came rushing over. For our supposed days long wait (yes this is over-emphasised) he courteously offered us a free teapot as our supplement. Teapot drinks are, of course, awesome, and we unanimously agreed this was bad-ass of him.


Heather ordered a chicken burger (which came with the option of having the chicken breast deep fried, awwyeah) and I ordered their classic cheeseburger. Both were absolutely phenomenal (and ridiculously cheap for central Auckland prices). The onion ring side dish was crispy with a lovely aioli accompaniment, and we finished our meals at risk of stomach pains because leaving food feels like defeat and nothing tastes worse than defeat.


The bar started to become more occupied, and strange decorations started to appear. We quickly assumed a jungle theme night was to happen, because camo nets were hung from the ceiling. We were partly right; the facebook event we found online said ‘best dressed camo guest wins a prize’. What we also found was the pièce de résistance of the night: Electric Burlesque.


Free drink and now free burlesque, Cassette Nine you quickly placed in the top ten of bars I have ever visited. Seduction and fire dancing were not mentioned on the menu outside, but were quickly eaten up by the now largely packed crowd surrounding the stage, Heather and I still sitting in our now front row seats. We were given our receipt after the fire dancer’s performance, because the table was taking up too much space and they were transitioning from restaurant to nightclub. Looking at it we noticed one burger was $0.00. Now I can add free food to the list of free drink and entertainment.

A trifecta.

The Holy Grail of hospitality. 


Dashing gentleman wished us a pleasant evening, and we stumbled down the stairs with less grace than our approach only hours ago.


Walking back to our hotel we were on cloud nine, coincidentally the same number as our newly cherished establishment. Cassette Nine, please replay this magical night on my next visit.


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4 thoughts on “Review – Cassette Nine.

  1. “Leaving food feels like defeat and nothing tastes worse than defeat.” I admit, I feel the same way. I’ve never eaten at Cassette Nine, but I’ve “been out” there a few times. Sounds like you chanced upon a great night, maybe the bar tender had a crush on you?

  2. I watched this unfold as I was setting up just behind you guys, I must say not only was I impressed with the way the guys handled it I was equally impressed by your attitude and acceptance that some times things do not quite go as planned in the service industry.

    • Hospitality needs way more credit than it receives and more people need to realise that, as you said, things don’t always go to plan. It was pretty close to a perfect night though and full recognition to all involved at Cassette Nine.

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