Here’s a poem I’m entering for a fun competition for National Poetry Day. It’s a bit crap but hey, what isn’t?
Thanks Tim Minchin for satirical inspiration.
You know what’s great to tell small children?
Lies!
I mean.
Who doesn’t love the idea of having
a career like Santa Claus?
A jolly old fellow made from cookies and Jello.
(Or so I was told when I wasn’t too old).
He gifted candies to Mandy’s and trucks to Chucks.
But, if you weren’t very nice
you’d up with something icky
like coal,
or lice.
Lying to kids is great! And it wasn’t till I was eight
when I learned the truth,
in a ‘That’s Life’ magazine article
which would refute
Santa Claus,
and the Easter Bunny,
and the Tooth Fairy,
and instead make me wary of
poppy-cock fiction adults made,
to ensure their children would
behave.
But I remember the lessons I learned from them,
like how to earn money
from discarded body parts, and
too much chocolate is bad
for the heart.
I’m creating lies of my own now
for when I’m all grown, and
have tossed my job in for these
sweet little runts
of mine,
who will probably
morph into
sweet little
country bumpkins
when we visit the zoo,
or the farm with the cows who say
‘moo’.
(You can probably tell I like animals, but any who).
I’ve made up one character we’ll call him
‘Billy Banker’.
A business like chap,
with a nice suit and top hat,
who’ll be richer than Gates and all
his tech-industry mates.
I can’t wait
for him to tell my kids how
money
is more important than the environment.
His catchphrase will be
‘Trees need solitary confinement!’
Or
‘Forests are a waste of wood!’
And they’ll grow up to learn that
money equals good.
He’ll educate them ‘money
is nobler than clean air and drinking water’,
I mean.
Just look at what global governments have
already taught us!
We can sell our resources, and buy
all-natural food
from the sweat shop countries.
down the road
With their dilapidated factories and
battery caged workers, who
work diligently to ensure
our lives don’t descend
further than the glitter
and gold prospects
money
does hold.
This is what they’ll get told.
I mean.
If we really loved these environmental places,
Wouldn’t we do better
at leaving
less traces of
the completely
destructive,
fucked up thoughts, of
‘what profits can be sought?’
Or
‘what legalities can be fought?’
Or
‘what politician can be bought?’
I mean.
How do we tell our kids the real truth,
that money
only pays in hands
uncouth.
How do we tell them
‘we know how to save the planet, but
choose not too’.
Or
‘we’ve pulled the blanket over our eyes, because
we hate the current world-view’
Or
‘we’re responsible for the damage bills, but
the clean up is up to you.’
But hey, I’m not the bad guy.
You made it ok to lie.
I’m only following suit, and putting down
the childhood boot.
Educating my kids about disrepute.
And they’ll learn to harvest this
insatiable thirst,
from my lies a blessed curse,
for they’ll grow up to know money
is number one.
And become kings and queens over
the growing poverty slum.
Just look at what the world’s already become.
I’ll teach them, through lies,
that money buys
everyone.
