Standard edition.

I don’t think my standards are too high. There are very few things I am picky about. Usually I’m satisfied if you’re alive and have a good grasp of the English language. But the few things that do concern me, I will critically examine and see if they are a trait you have, in which case, laters homie.

Four turn offs, in no special order, based upon real life lessons.

One: You are negative about your family for no good reason. This is something I had to learn about the hard way (which ended in an ugly brawl between the now ex, her parents, and me). Looking back there were a lot of unnecessary negative comments made by her, which stupidly influenced my adolescent, hormonally confused girl opinions. I know you should fall in love with the person, and not their relatives, but if you’re going to trash talk your parents on no reasonable grounds but simply ‘for the lols’, then please leave.

Two: You hate books. This goes against everything I believe in, and makes me think you are uninterested in learning about ANYTHING.

Three: You cling in the ‘ohmygod I haven’t heard from her in three hours she’s totally cheating on me’ kinda way. Honey, calm the F down. I’m just waking up from passing out on a mates couch because drunk driving is a big no-no (which I’m starting to think you are also a big no-no if this is how you react every weekend).

Four: You have no sense of humour. Like, you don’t even laugh at me. If I can’t make you laugh then I’d highly recommend you get your funometer checked because I am hiiiiiiilarious.

 

EDIT: I completely forgot my absolute number one pet hate. Not being on time. If you are someone who is always late to every event, then we are never to be together. I know this breaks the rules, but this edit is totally worth the honest points.

Do you think my standards are unreasonable? Are you a very fussy person, or do you love everyone on the planet ever? I’d like to know how you judge people (let’s be honest now, we allllllllll do it).

E.

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